Friday, March 10, 2006

Things they don't tell you about being a writer Pt.2

So, you've sold that first manuscript - Woo-Hoo!!! You have partied from dusk til dawn, told everyone on the planet, tried not to be smug to all those people who were pessimistic or smirked when you told them you were writing a book and you've overcome the hurdle of a website(see Pt 1).

Now it's down the the nitty gritty. The business end of things. Because when you write that first one you only have your own schedule to deal with. You can write it as quickly or as slowly as you choose. You can take your time to edit and check and delete and add until the thing is so shiny you can see your face in it. Once you've sold that first one you then have a bigger test... Book Two.(feel free to insert scary music and a clap of thunder avec lightning at this point)
Now, maybe you're one of those organized folks who has a spare manuscript just sitting in the wings ready to go. In which case, please leave my blog, you're entirely too efficient to be mixing with the likes of me! But if you're normal you probably then have a small moment of panic and become obsessed with having an even better second book...

Welcome to the self doubt and hair pulling of all glamorous writers...(I'm thinking of investing in some quality wigs myself. Uh-huh. Something chic that will make me look more like Sandra Bullock)

Even if you've been in the business a while the chances are you'll have at least one book that causes you to lose sleep. And once we're here, we want this writing thing to work, of course we do. So we spend more time at the computer... And that means we enter, THE CALORIE ZONE... (insert an echo and more thunder and lightning)

Yes, the calorie zone. This is when you ignore every lesson you've ever learned about nutrition and things like GI, Low carb and Bikini become things that you know somewhere in your mind should be important... But realistically they fade into insignificance in the land of imagination. Because we need simple things. Things that won't involve us having to leave the computer to pick up a knife and fork. We need things we can reach for without thinking while we concentrate on something else. In the same way you do at the cinema when watching a film (though I still maintain that in the dark of the cinema elves jump from row to row and eat at least two thirds of that giant bucket of buttered popcorn. There's no way I could have eaten all that alone in an hour and three quarters!)

We all have our poison of choice. And you may even have a little fun seeing if you can match the vice to the author. (They all write for the Tender/Romance line like I do...) But the one thing theses poisons all have in common is that they require but one hand to reach for them and they can be eaten all too easily! (No prize for guessing the author correctly you understand, but you do get to *out* them in public...)

So, basically the second thing they don't tell you when you become a writer is that unless you're very very good and can cope with deadlines much better than I quite obviously can, you are going to eat more. And combined with sitting down for a good portion of the day. That's b-a-d. Very bad.

At first you don't notice it. Especially in the winter, when c'mon, we need natural insulation, right? But as part of your brand new writing career, at some point you're going to have to meet other authors (the glamorous ones) and Editors (who are all glamorous - and so far, in my experience, no older than twenty five. Sigh.) So at that point you want to look your best, in some semblance of the glamour that should by now, surely, have rubbed off on you. It's then that the long term efects of all that time at the computer with your 'one handed food' becomes apparant. My solution to this thus far? A swiss ball. And yes, there's nothing at all glamorous in working out with one of those. Trust me.

So be warned... be careful... think carrot sticks... And a thought to leave you with...

Can it be a mistake that "STRESSED" is "DESSERTS" spelled backwards???

4 comments:

allyblake said...

Oh, oh, I'll give you a hint! One of those pretty vices is mine. All mine. Hands off!

Though eyeing off the other vices I think I could easily branch out...

Evil woman you.

Liz Fielding said...

I've been catching up on your blogs, Trish. Some terrific stuff (and it's all true folks. I can still remember the fatal moment when I decided to buy the skirt in larger size so it would be more comfortable instead of going on a diet.)

Good thoughs and prayers for Katie.

JENNA said...

My vice changes with each book. Like they call have their own color of nail polish on my fingers, they have their own drink and treat. Hmmm. Maybe that's why this story is going so slow. I keep grabbing caramel corn...and won't touch my keyboard with sticky fingers! Truly an AHA! moment :)

Trish said...

Hee-hee Ally... I'll find ever method I can o getting weight on *you*, you could stand a pound or two my precious... Chocolate???

Liz - Yes, I sense a pattern here. I'm much more attracted to things with elastic waists these days. For comfort you understand...

And Jenna - caramel *what* was that????? Not that I've had practice in these things you understand but, erm, baby wipes by the keyboard help. Especially if you leave one poking out the top... Cos then you can still wipe your fingers one handed...