The reason she has is that the builders have 'stretched' her internet cable. You know, of course, that Trish lives in a wooden cabin in the middle of rural Ireland??? So picture the internet cable popped out of the window, travelling over the ground, across a hedge, down a trench, up across the roof and back through another window.
Anyone surprised she's without a connection???????????
She has a new 30ft cable on order but it's yet to arrive. So, in the meantime she's suggested I update her blog. Me! Me, who rarely updates her own.
Would you trust me with your blog?
Would you trust me with your blog if you'd written 'Ask Trish Anything Part 1'??????
Remember this? All aimed at me!
"Now Richard Armitage. I have heard that this addiction is increasing in numbers on an almost daily basis. It is somewhat worrying. I think there are several stages of the addiction and I'm just going to walk through them to check what stage you are at so we can decide if you're eligible for therapy or so far gone that you might be best to buy the T-Shirt so that people are warned you're coming... This is best for both stalker and stalkee I feel...
1/ See him in passing on TV and think 'ooohhh he's nice'
2/ Make a point of ordering all dvd's he's in because he's rather yummy and you're interested in his 'body of work'
3/ You have gone through the TV guide with a highlighter pen and have rescheduled your work/family life/socializing in order to make sure you see him in everything he's in even while you tape it at the same time (taping AND watching at the same time are a very common sign of approaching addiction)
4/ You've done ALL of the above and are now spending at least an hour a day trawling the internet for new pics and details of upcoming work and latest rumours and are IM'ing people who don't actually care to pass on the information you've found because its 'important they know' and they might be single and could marry him for you so he can come round your place for dinner...
5/ You have done ALL OF THE ABOVE, named your friends children with him, know the weather report for where's he's currently filming and have joined what could almost be considered an underground movement of women (who may one day invade the country) just so you can read what they're learned about him while not sharing anything you've found out in case anyone thinks you're being a bit of a fan-girlie.
Really, I think as far as '3' can be considered *research* for a writer, but anything after that is both procrastination and frankly a little worrying... Maybe you need to look at what it is about Richard you find so fascinating. If you've not *cast* him as one of your heros yet then maybe you should so you can work through this *fantasy life* in a productive way that could get you PAID for the effort. Or perhaps you need to get your husband to dress in either Victorian Gentleman clothes or leather for an evening... And remember too that by focussing your stalking energies on several dozen actors/singers etc you are not only spreading the love, but lessening the addiction for ONE IN PARTICULAR... which is a very good way of putting the police and mental health authorities off the scent... "
I need to think. The scent of blood is in my nostrils ....
For the time being I think I shall content myself with explaining how it comes about Trish knows so much about obsessive love.
A man she says 'has married the wrong Irish girl'.
So, what is it about him she likes so much?
- Height. This is a huge thing for Trish. She has, and I quote, 'a huge problem with a guy who has a conversation with my breasts'. And, yes, I can see that would be a problem for Trish. She is a woman of ample cleavage.
- His aloofness. Trish maintains, 'If a man is telling you their entire life story over a glass of wine you're going to think 'gay' or 'go home'. I'm not arguing.
- Lovely eyes. Okay.
- Accent. Very English. A male version of my own.
- His talent. Trish reckons he plays 'vulnerability beautifully' in 'Spooks'. That would be a straight level 2, wouldn't it? The 'interested in his body of work'?????
I concede she's not trawling the internet at the moment. But that's only because she can't!!!
How do you suppose I know that:
Rupert was born on 22 September, 1970, in London
He's 6' 2"
He married Dervla Kirwan this year.
The couple have two children together. Forence, born 1st May, 2004 and Peter on 8th April, 2006.
His father is Peter Penry-Jones and his mother Angela Thorne.
He dated Kylie Minogue for a while.
He attended the Bristol Old Vic Theatre School.
I could go on .....
The only reason she hasn't joined an 'underground movement' is because there isn't one. (Hello all members of the Armitage Army).
I'd say she was a comfortable level 5!! Don't you think she should take her own advice and write a fair haired, blue eyed hero???????? To date, he's been conspicuous by his absence.
It is a delightful feeling to have been given an unexpected opportunity to redress the balance! And particularly wonderful knowing she can't even look!!!!!